Friday, January 30, 2009

So many questions

On a day like today - where I have read several different blogs. I am so touched by each and everyone. I am blessed to be surrounded by such God fearing - God loving people in my life. However, there are always questions and there may not always be the answers you want, but there are answers.

I know I will probably get a lot of responses back on these questions, but hey I have to ask. So, go head and shoot your big gun at me - those words are my hubby's words so I get to use them today.

I know that if it is God's will that he will provide no matter what the case may be. However, at this time I am feeling very drawn to this subject. I must first say this is a subject that my husband says NO to every time I bring it up.

Question #1 I would like to ask how is it that so many families are able to afford multiple adoptions? Is it by grants, fund raising or what?

I would give anything to have another child - to give Mary Beth a brother or sister. However, there is no way for us to afford another adoption. We know that it was God's will for us to get Mary Beth - there is no other explanation!!!! I have been praying about this and praying about this and unfortunately I have not been given the answer by God - not yet anyway. I know that he will answer in his own way and time no matter if I receive the answer that I want - He will give me the answer. Even though I know that I still feel very confused about all of this. The ladies at our church they pick on my husband all of the time about us getting another child and his response to that is "no - I am happy with Mary Beth". They just smile at him and say well we are praying really hard for ya'll to get another one. However, I still feel that there is room in my heart for another child. Could all of this be possible???? (Yes hubby - I already know your answer)

Question # 2: Once you are a mother do you ever get over the feeling that you have love in your heart for more children? I know of several families that wish they had only had one child. They are thankful for their second, but they wish that they had stopped at one.

I know that Charles and I both are getting older and it might not be as easy to take care of more children, but hey I just look back to my Papaw when he married my Mamaw. He was 42 and she was 19 - his children from his first marriage were older than my Mamaw and then they had 4 children together. So he started a second family in his 40's. I think that if he could do it then so could I (and Charles).

I pray that God will shine his light down on me and help to explain these feelings that I have. So, if you will just say a little prayer for me or you can post your thoughts at the bottom - just click on comments below and let me know. I feel so confused and lost at this point and I am not sure what to do, how to do it, and etc and etc.

One last thing - thank you to all that have left comments on our story. Mary Beth is my testimony and I am very proud of that fact!!!!

5 comments:

Lindsey's mom said...

Oh I know what you mean. We have no idea where all the $ will come from. We had it planned but then the flood happened and now we need new floors. My first adoption was funded from insurance. You know my daughter died 3 years ago..she wanted a sister and we went with it. People say how lucky Lindsey is..I correct them..and say I AM LUCKY! We could not think of a better way to spend that money and would never use it for anything else. As for our second adoption..we are going one fee at a time. My husband will be working away from home nearly the entire summer. We will drive and visit him. I wish you the best in seeking your answers! Your daughter is beautiful!

Shannon of "Room for More" said...

My heart goes out to you. When we started this adoption journey, we knew we could put the money together. My husband's company was doing well and bonuses were sure to come. Well, the economy nose dived and we are now praying for each and every payment to the agency. If we work at little chunks, it helps so that it is not so overwhelming. I have been doing all kinds of fundraisers. I also made a chart for the next adoption payment marked in $10 increments. Whenever we raise $10, we cross one off. It helps to see the little steps of God's provision.

As far as the yearning for more children, I believe with all my heart it is God given. I have Christian friends who do not desire any more children. I do. Rhea does too. He is 48 & I am 41. We desire for more bio children and to adopt. If God had put that desire on your heart, use that emotional energy to pray for your husband to have that same desire.

Rhea has been looking at the big #s needed ($20K+), I have been looking at baby steps. When I told him that our Pampered Chef fundraiser will probably bring in $80 he smiled this time and praised God for His provision! I will be praying for you and your family. Your daughter is beautiful!

Amy said...

Hi, Lynn,
My name is Amy and I am from Mississippi but currently living in Panama. I have one daughter from Zhangshu,China and DESPERATELY want another child. I am 47. Hubby says no (so far) and we have no money. I am looking for a better job to help but we are still paying debts from adoption #1. I am so inspired by the blogs where people say how God provided for them. I am trusting that to happen for me as well. I am doing all the human things I can to make this happen and I am praying for guidance. May God bless your efforts.
Amy
P.S. where is your music coming from? I love it!

DawnS said...

I don't have answers for you, but I really do know how you feel. We completed our adoption of Rylee out of obedience and faith - it stretched out over two cross country moves, two job changes and we are in debt up to our eyeballs. I thought we were done (and if my husband heard what I am about to say he would die I think) but now I'm not so sure. What I do know is that all we have to do is be patient, God will reveal his plans at the right time.

Dori said...

Hi, I just found the link to your website via CCAI Adoption Agency (my husband and I are just beginning the adoption process) and thought I'd pass some information along to you. The Shaohannah's Hope Foundation (www.showhope.org/) provides adoption assistance grants to help loving Christian families adopt children from China. You might want to check out their website sometime!